Montreal Secrets, Révélés

A conspicuously unofficial guide to [eating and drinking in] a city I once called home

Mtl rises and shines hard. Based on where you're staying, you could swing out for a morning coffee from Noble, a cute coffee window that generally does a decent job. Mosey toward the mountain, pop into Toledo, grab a loaf for your eventual picnic. It'll be hard to choose which one, sorry. Continue vaguely in the mountain's direction, but then suddenly veer "north" (in Mtl the cardinal directions are different. kill your compass, get used to it) and snag straight up some of the best croissants you'll ever have from Hof Kelsten. You'll be tempted to get a bunch of other shit, too. Go ahead. My only caveat is that the loaves here aren't nearly as good as at Toledo or Automne, though unfortunately the latter is much farther away.

Totally different direction - just fucking drive over to Automne. Once there, you're not too far from Marché Jean-Talon, legendary. In addition to produce literally out the wazoo, that also takes you to Fromagerie Hamel, which has it all. Next-level. And by the way - as much fun as the outdoor stalls are, the best legit fruiterie at JT is Chez Nino, on the "south side" of the brick and mortar stretch along the market's perimeter. 

But maybe fuck faire d'épicerie? K, I hear you. Arthur's is a sick breakfast joint in St-Henri. larrys is legendary all-day faire, though the vibe ain't what it used to be since they shuffled their two locations around during the pandemic. still worth a visit if time permits.

When we need a Bloody Caesar we go to Réservoir. Res is also a sneaky reliable spot to snag a reasonably priced bottle from QC cult-status winemakers Pinard & Filles, which is often overhyped but often extremely good, and like, worth the Insta proof of consumption if you need more vinfluential cred among the Keb scene (don't we all).

Should you wanna spend a little more time with a coffee, my very own Dispatch is a pretty solid scene (Plateau location only). Crew is also obnoxiously epic (old port), and Pista is somewhere in between.

Things you might want to do in the afternoon

The afternoon is your oyster, idk what you'll wanna do. But if any sort of shopping is in the pipeline, I recommend Drawn and Quarterly, which also takes you smack dab to the middle of the Mtl hipster district (Mile End). It's not as bad as Williamsburg. There's plenty to do, just look around. You don't need my help over there. Plus, while you're at it, you can try out bagels from both St-Viateur and Fairmount and somewhat arbitrarily swear a blood oath with one against the other. More importantly, you'll get a Chinese food container full of fresh gnocchi from Drogheria Fine. This is important. The gnocchi will warm you up so thoroughly that you'll thus need to cool off. Enter Kem CoBa, one of the absolute cultiest (but generally lives up to the hype) ice cream joints in town.

Cafe Olimpico is trash. Don't waste your time. Or do, it's yours to waste.

If you have a healthy relationship with alcohol, I assume you'll need some while it's still light out. Good places for a daytime (ish) drink: Henrietta, larrys, VinVinVin (one of my absolute fave bars in the world, though i haven't been since pre-pandemonium), Reservoir (yes, mentioned yet again).

Need weird meats? RARE EXOTIC XXX shit? Volailles Et Gibiers Fernando (Plateau) has you covered. Woah. Cool shit. Quality. 

Also be prepared for way too many options for Portuguese chicken (an excellent problem). We're partial to Ma Poule Mouillée, which is also quite close to where you're staying.

If you need ramen, the lines outside of Yokato Yokabai are worth the wait. But maybe now we're getting to nighttime.

Things you might want to do in the evening

If you want a phenomenal dinner, Candide delivers. So do Vin Mon Lapin (also probably best wine list in the city), Elena (pizza, pasta, insanely good times, probably best feel good vibes of anywhere) and any of the Joe Beef Group spots (we really like McKiernan and Vin Papillon, which are both much more manageable than JB itself). To me, the most MTL place in Mtl is L'Express. No intro does it justice. Obviously there's a zillion other great restos up there but those are the ones that kneejerk make me miss the scene the most.

If I wanted to swing to a weird eccentric joint to drink a bottle of wine and eat fries (before or after dinner), I'd go to Majestique. I doubt many others will rec that spot - it's a little zany and under the radar, but has a killer secret wine menu and in the old days the service and vibes were great. I've also heard really good things about after-dinner cocktails at Salle Climatisée, though we've never been there ourselves.

I doubt you'll be around long enough to justify seeing a movie, but Cinema Moderne is p cool. If one of your friends does something terrible and you need to escape them, not a bad place to hide away.

If you've made it this far, I sincerely apologize for forgetting my actual number 1 f&b joint in the greater Mtl area - The Orange Julep. If you feel like you must consume poutine while in QC, do it here. Get a fucking hot dog all dressed, a poutine, and in case it isn't obvious, get a gd orange julep. You won't regret it. If I see one building silhouette in your IG feed this weekend, I really hope it's the [orange] julep.

Chez Tousignant is another winner for burgers or dogs. V satisfying. But it ain't orange and it ain't the julep. hardly anywhere is. except one.

Ok c'est tout.

Have fun af.

- Jim

PS - there are also museums and cultural institutions in this city. I'm sure there are some articles out there about them